17 Some of his disciples said to one another, "What does he mean by saying, 'In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me,' and 'Because I am going to the Father'?" 18 They kept asking, "What does he mean by 'a little while'? We don't understand what he is saying."
Confusion causes angst and angst causes confusion – does it not? You can hear the massive frustration in the disciple’s words. What they had expected, what they had supposed, what they had believed, what they had planned on was not happening – Christ was not getting ready to set up His earthly kingdom. Their deep longing, the ultimate fulfillment they craved, still lay ahead. They were to live in the kingdom He called them to now and they were to expect its fullness later – in short, they were to live big with the longing. Furthermore, what He was telling them seemed so confusing particularly in the light of them seeking to make His Words fit into their predisposed plans. Surely they felt the sting of the first part of Proverbs 13:12 as their longing had certainly not been fulfilled and their hearts remained sick:
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Prov 13:12 (NIV)
Been there, how about you? Discouraged and disappointed over the way something has played out in my life. Confusion sets in and I can hardly hear His still small voice speaking to me. I am too busy indulging myself in self-pity getting me nowhere fast. My worthless plans had become an idol and confusion begins to set in. It would do me well to remember at these times that getting to the end of my rope is finally getting to the beginning of His – where I needed to be all along. I am reminded of the prophet Jonah who from the belly of the great fish prayed:
8 "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. Jonah 2:8 (NIV)
Jonah had received marching orders from God and had done a complete 180 – landing him straight into the dire circumstance he now found himself. He had not liked the Ninevites – indeed he had most likely hoped that God would destroy the city along with its inhabitants yet God had other plans. He desired for Jonah to prophesy there and was ready to show mercy to those there who would willingly turn to Him in humility and sincerity. When God relents from sending calamity to Nineveh, Jonah was not pleased. He became angry over God’s mercy shown to those he wrongly thought should be destroyed. Had Jonah forgotten that he had been shown mercy as well? It would do us well to remember that God is God and we are not:
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)
Interestingly, it is only through the power of the Spirit that we are enabled to comprehend more and more clearly any spiritual Truth. It is the same way with our abilities in our actions as Jesus states apart from Him we can do nothing – even though we are constantly trying. We realize the things like raising the dead or walking on water or parting the sea are beyond our natural abilities but they are no more so than loving our enemies or bearing all the fruit of the Spirit or loving our wife as Christ loved the Church or denying self and living the crucified life – all of which takes the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit to accomplish. We simply cannot consistently muster this up in our human nature. I am confident this is why we see so many defeated and weary and joyless believers. We are simply seeking to be fueled by our own power rather than His and we will always be defeated, frustrated and confused. Our mediocre spiritual lives will continually fall grossly short of God’s promises and the descriptions of what a New Testament believer should look like. God does not desire for His children to live in defeat – what kind of witness or testimony is that? Rather He longs for His children to live in victory and abundance – clinging to His best for their lives. Paul gives us a good description of how we are to live through the power of the Spirit in Colossians – taking off the old self and putting on the new:
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Col 3:5-10 (NIV)
12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col 3:12-17 (NIV)
“Make and keep me pure within.” Charles Wesley